Category: Psychology

When trying to understand someone so you can help them change for the better, you must first know where they live most of the time in their mind.

For example: I woke up from a dream with part of a phrase that I know in my head. I kept trying to say it to myself and got stopped at the exact same place every time. I couldn’t complete the sentence that I know so well. The active portion of my brain didn’t have all the connections to the portion of my brain that housed the information which I was seeking. The only way to get that full sentence out was to come from a different origin in the brain. An origin that had strong neural connections to the information I seek.

Certain parts of the brain only have connections to pain, such as bad memories. You can’t get to peace when living in that portion of the brain. This is why state management is such a crucial tool to understand and use. You must first shift the energy in your brain to a different area of the brain so that you utilize different neural nets which have a strong connection to the information that you know is there.

How do you change your state? There are 3 key ways to rapidly change your state.
1. Change your physiology
2. Change your focus
3. Change your language

Our beliefs determine what we will and won’t try. They determine how we feel about others. They literally shape our future. For most of us, our beliefs were formed out of our past experience and environments. Many times, they don’t even make sense!  The following information is a set of tools to help you discover and take control of your beliefs.

This is an oversimplification of the real guts of what Tony Robbins teaches about reprogramming your brain for success.  The end goal is to discover your current beliefs so that you can change the disempowering ones. You should write down your answers to each question.  Don’t just read this stuff!  Do it!  Take the time to get clear about your beliefs!

When I refer to “states” below, I’m referring to mental states or feelings. Really they are the same for our purposes.

1. Brainstorm: List your “ends” values, which should be states, not things. You get these by asking the question, “What is most important to me in (my life, my family, my career, etc)”.  If you find yourself saying something like, “my house” or “my car”, you need to ask yourself why is it that thing. Every want that you have in life is because you believe it will help you feel a certain way.  That feeling or state is what we are after.
2. Sort that list in order by which states you would do the most to have.
3. Brainstorm: List the states that you would do the most to avoid.  A helpful way to get these is to ask yourself, “When have I felt horrible about myself or my situation?”  Remember, we don’t want to relive it, just capture the state in a word or two.
4. Sort that list in order by which states you would do the most to avoid.
5. For each state in each list, answer the question, “What has to happen for me to feel this way?” These answers can usually be expressed as “if, then” statements. These statements are your beliefs about your life, your family, your career, etc.
6. For each belief, ask the question, “Is this belief empowering or disempowering?
7. Create new beliefs to replace the disempowering ones.  What would be a better, more empowering belief to have?
8. Reprogram your brain with new beliefs! (see below)

Brain reprogramming techniques:

• Scratch the record: A record that has been scratched will never play the same again!  Like a digital image or an audio recording, your memories CAN be modified!  More importantly, your interpretation of your memories can be modified. To do this, replay the memory in your mind’s eye while purposefully changing it to reflect your new belief. Do this with feeling!
• Incantations: What you repeatedly say, you will eventually become. Use your new beliefs to create incantations which you will recite with feeling each day.

Updating your beliefs is powerful!  Remember that your beliefs affect everything you think and do.  They shape your thought patterns and your actions.  It’s absolutely critical that you get to know yourself and take control of your vessel!

According to RSA’s Dan Pink in Drive: The surprising truth about what motivates us, employees want 3 things:

• Autonomy (self-direction)
• Mastery (we like to get good at things)
• Purpose (a grand ideal)

If this is true (and according to Dan, it is science), then the worst thing a manager can do for his team is to require too much of them in too little time.  Doing so would prevent them from self-directing their work since there is not time for their desires.  It would also prevent them from ever achieving mastery because they would have to quickly move from one project to the next.

I believe that a better approach is to make the purpose (that grand ideal of the company), crystal clear.  Then choose a few 6 month goals and set the team loose.  The end result is what matters, not the means to get there.  Taking this approach allows team members the opportunity for discovery and autonomy.  Allowing them enough time to do it right allows them the opportunity for mastery.

I deeply agree with Dan’s findings.  I know they are true for me in the work place.  What do you think?